Sunday, August 21, 2011

The Attack of the Double-Headed Poker Face (Ma-ma-ma-maaw!)


I used to find playing face cards rather creepy when I was a kid. I imagined them lurking in the shadows with their grim expressions, and as they have no feet I imagine them hopping alternately on their double heads toward me. It didn't help that our home's security men I often visited played those cards in the dark of night, somehow tickling my juvenile subconscious that the "barahas" are indeed immoral spawns of Satan.

I could still remember the vague musk I smell each time I pestered the men. Sometimes a red or blue underwear would be hanging on a nail along with the jeans. While I find the face cards unnerving, I found the underwear fascinating. On days the men's hut is deserted, I would steal a pair and wear it. And feel good wearing it down there. At a tender age of 5, I wouldn't know it was perverted to do so. I just found it fun.

Perhaps my fascination with male underwear caught the twisted mind of one of those men. We'd start to get close, telling me the story of a "magic milk" which if I drank would give me supermagical powers, like the genie in Disney's Aladdin. The only thing was I cannot tell anybody about it, otherwise the "magic" of the "milk" will disappear.

He would lay down on the folding nylon bed, then take out a piece of flesh inside his pants which I was told to lick and suck. It was how I could drink the "magic milk". I would find the exercise particularly silly, but the promise of having supermagic powers would keep me doing the ritual. Alas, I would never get to taste the "magic milk" he so talked about. He'd often tell me that the "magic milk" wasn't there that time, or it was shy, and he'd tell me to come back some other time. Which I always did.

One afternoon I came back would be the turning point of the ruckus. I saw him, completely naked while hurrying to wear his clothes. It was the first time I'd seen a completely naked adult man. And it disturbed me. So much that I would tell my family about it over lunch. And then tell them about the story of the "magic milk" on the side, since I was a rather talkative English-mumbling brat, which my family would nod along in amazement and wonder. That was the last day I would ever see that man in the hut.

A year later as a Grade 1 kid, I would remember how he would jiggle his male flesh up and down, wondering why he would do that. Even then, I still couldn't picture that flesh to be his "bird". That didn't stop me though from trying it out on mine.

That day, I'd have a supermagical power.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Yes, He Ate My Heart And Then He Ate My Brain

I still blush whenever I remember that night. The last quarterly exams of the school year were over, and we only had a week or two to finish our school clearance before the dormitory closes for the year. Without the feminizing and taming powers of artificial estrogen back then, I was as mustached and horny as a good 15-year-old adolescent should. It didn't help that a roommate was an affirmed deep sleeper, which often got him in trouble when he doesn't wake up for class. (He also happened to be a somniloquist--he raised himself one random night to deliver an impassioned rendition of the English alphabet before slumping back to bed, and never had even a vague memory of it the next day.)

And I liked him.

Or at least since he started pairing clean plain white shirt with his similarly clean plain white shorts. Or was it the haircut? Or the fact that I got to caress him every time he cuts classes to play Pokémon Gold & Silver on my computer (which was ingeniously hidden inside a cabinet to escape inspection from the dorm manager). I hated him though for getting crabby over petty things. I still hold a grudge on him to this day for snapping at me when I asked for a few sheets of intermediate pad paper.

But he lay there for the taking that night, face up without a blanket covering him, wearing tight, pinkish shorts with a strategically-located zipper. And there might not be another chance. He failed his removal exam that would have kept him a scholar in school for the next year. He'd be gone for good.

"I love him."

Or so I thought I felt when I texted that to my aloe vera-loving confidant when I could no longer contain how much I missed him. I missed him, so much that by the following school year I headed with a half-Japanese friend to Malolos to visit his home, with only anecdotal clues to guide us. But for then I was back at the province for the summer, with only the warmth of his soft, unconscious cheek on my lips to reminisce (and of course, something else, but I don't want to ruin the romantic narrative yet--oh wait, I already have >_<').

Then the idiot comes out gay many years later, revealing he had been conscious all along back then that I molested him, mocking me for my feigned repentance, and brags of his own mischievous exploits with men. If there's any consolation, he's become damn hotter if his pictures were to be believed. Unlike another guy I had a crush on (NOT Paul, mind you) who's now married to a masked V-lookalike and is now a professional drag queen.

What the HELL is with me falling for gay men?!?!?!

The Khaleesi's Mighty Horse (Or Pseudo-horse)

*dedicated to puppydog ;p



This is MC, my beloved steed. :)




This is MC, carrying my backpack under forced labor. >:)


Friday, August 12, 2011

I Am Khaleesi*...Khaleesiii-siii-siiiii....

I feel like a fraud roaming around UP right now on a backpack. That, or the UP atmosphere has changed dramatically since I left without official leave some three years ago. With the tuition fee swollen up to magnanimous proportions (3x? 4x?) it's no wonder I mostly see rich (or rich-sounding) kids in the campus. It's like the Autonomous Department of EEE™ committed treason to the central UP government and took over the Iron Throne. Only, Esteros still reeks.

Meanwhile, life hasn't been as peaceful as I expected it to be in my new castle in Winterfell, East Fairview. The white walkers seemed to have followed me from my previous abode in the South, so while the obvious door slamming no longer bothers me much, I now have random unidentified loud banging to deal with. Immediate neighbors I came across with deny to be causing the ruckus, but they do hear some noise themselves they claim to be coming from my room. I'm seriously considering getting a paranormal investigator in the chance a sex-deprived lesbian succubus might be lusting for me for this long. The horrors.

For the meantime I'm living a lifestyle of mobility. Daenerys wasn't exactly who I had in mind when I embodied a nomad-pastoralist barbarian histories ago, but I find the "khaleesi" title too appealing to my ego. Now I just have to find something to plunder. Or to rape. Or whatever the Dothrakis love to do.


*The "khaleesi" in the Game of Thrones mythos is the queen of the horse-mounting Dothraki nomads east of Westeros. I shall leave to the hardcore Lady Gaga fan which song I'm parodying for this post's title.